"Vaya Con Dios."

(poem for my kids)

Have you ever seen the Matrix? There’s this scene where Keanu Reeves stands, weaponless- exposed before a wall of digital bullets racing to shatter his digital body and maybe they do. I won’t spoil it

but he’s not flinching at death-

Have you seen Point Break? Probably not and that’s my failing as your father- but there’s this scene where Keanu Reeves betrays his oath to uphold the laws of the state and he uncuffs Patrick Swayze and lets him paddle into the raging jaws of a monster wave- “a 50 year storm”- split from the body of a coastal typhoon-

Seeking a freedom that cannot be revoked by the officers swarming the beach.

“What the fuck Utah?! You just let him go!” one of the cops screams over the storm.

“No I didn’t.” Keanu responds, glancing towards the violence of the surging ocean as it carries his friend’s insect body deep into the collapse, tossing his badge to those same waters-

Right?

I know you’ve seen Bill & Ted’s Excellent adventure because I showed it to you- because Friday night was movie night and you’d all bring pillows and blankets down from your bedrooms- spreading them out across the living room until it resembled a hobo jungle-

Eating a special snack and asking a thousand questions-

When money was really tight and I’d be checking the bank account like the box score of a game I’d laid a heavy wager on- we’d go to the library-

We felt rich at the library.

Check out any movie you want, get three books at once- pray to the god of DVDs the scratches on the ones we choose are only cosmetic.

That tension between the mawing pit of poverty and wanting it all to move forward with ease and wonder. That you shouldn’t have to worry like I worry- paddle out into those waters with tiny human lungs.

Wanting to give you the feelings I treasured as a kid, never thinking maybe my folks hid how hand-to-mouth it got at times too,

maybe I’m from a long line of illusionists- masters of moving a story-

all the while understanding a wall of simulated bullets could still spill blood for real some days.

Understanding that in this world, sometimes the gun-toting, bank robbing surfers are the heroes

and it’s the president masks you need to fear.